


not over you ( larry stylinson )

by Cheshirecurlss



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angry Harry, Angry Louis, Angst, Bathroom Sex, Crying Harry, Crying Louis, Emotional Roller Coaster, Fluff and Angst, Harry slaying fans, Jealous Louis, Larry Coming Out, Larry buying house together, Larry conversations, M/M, Pining Harry, Pining Louis, Sassy Harry, crying and pining, gemma being pain in the arse, harry's unstoppable kids demands, jealously playing its role, larry making car back seat useful, lots and lots of fluff, sugarscape articles, too much feels, twitter involved big time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshirecurlss/pseuds/Cheshirecurlss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Learn then unlearn and then learn each other again !!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. still in sync

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys this is my first fanfic . i hope you all like my work . i have got just one request to make . this work took me alot of time to complete , so please its my humble request don't post this work anywhere without my permission . the fanfiction is being copyrighted and all the rights are reserved for this work . enjoy guys  
> and yes i want all my readers to just focus on the headings of each chapter . each chapter heading plays a very small but the most significant part in the chapter . to enjoy the fanfiction and get major feels just read the heading carefully before and after reading the chapter

It was the day of the reunion , the most awaited reunion , awaited because five hearts secretly wished that they could be back together again . Had everything not gone wrong  and had modest not kicked the ass out of them , one direction would have survived after the ending of their five year contract . They had other managements running after them , but after five years in catacomb all they wished was freedom . Freedom which all of their money  even put together  cannot buy ,  each had their own reasons of not going back. 

LIAM - daddy direction could not handle the pressure , the scrutiny and most of all the pain and discomfort the other four were going through 

ZAYN - being depicted as dark horse , bad ass when you are  just the most benevolent soul cannot survive long . PATIENCE TOO HAS ITS BOUNDARIES 

NAILL -  the cutest , the baby direction , who smiled to everything and anything . louis simply breathing made that boy laugh his ass out . he was simply tired of everything , he stopped laughing

AND THE LAST TWO , the two who suffered the most , had a long journey of separation and silent cries LOUIS AND HARRY . two names that had hearts of millions of larry shippers ( as they were called ) . LOUIS AND HARRY  the two that could have changed the world . LOUIS AND HARRY two names that beated in same heart , two names that just wanted to be together but all they got was a long never ending journey to hell and back . Being away from the one whose mere presence can make you smile , the one with whom even silence is the best sound is nothing less than being in hell . And finally all that happened was BREAKUP.

 

So today these five were going to be together once again after four years .

 

The other three were in touch but just for a year or so , and louis and harry they were never even seen again . All that niall ,liam and zayn knew about them was from paul . Paul was the only one who was constantly in touch with his five boys , he knew everything about each of them . So today's meeting paul had organised , he had some big plans in mind . So outside his house the first one to appear was liam as usual . Paul and liam were sitting on the couch while discussing about the ongoing stuff . Liam had no idea he was going to meet his lads in minutes . Paul had invited all of them with none aware of others being present . so when liam was about to ask him about what was so urgent , the door opens and in comes niall . Before niall and liam could even comprehend what was going on , shoots zayn looking hot as always . the three beautiful faces looking a bit older turned from shocked to overwhelmed and then all paul could see sitting on the couch was them hugging with tears rolling down . they didn't  leave one another till tears stopped with the realisation of being together again in other's arms . THAT GROUP HUG , the warmth , the feeling was long missed . after moments three of them sat next to one another with niall resting his head on zayn's chest , they ask the same question " what are we here for paul ", while paul kept smiling and all he said was " just wait up " . three had nothing to complain since they had a lot to catch up . they just wanted to hold the sight of other's in front of them so they didn't ask anything more .

 

while other side two cars stopped in front of the house together one opposite the other . cars turned off together . doors opening together , even the years of separation could not break the sync between these two . they were **STILL IN SYNC**   .  they both came out of the car and BLUE MET GREEN . boom !!!!! the world came crashing . for minutes all they could do was stand there eyes locked with not even an inch of step taken further .  how could  LOUIS TOMLINSON  move when his curly was standing there and how could  HARRY STYLES blink his eyes when his lou , his chop suey was looking at him after four fucking years . louis was the first one to break the spell and move , happy memories clouded by the dark ones . he was trying to hold himself on ground  and harry was fine , was a complete understatement . harry being close to the bell ringed it and louis's voice entered his ears " hiii harry "

paul opened the door and the sight was nothing to complain about , { HARRY STYLES IN THE ARMS OF LOUIS TOMLINSON } . harry had fainted !!!!!!!!

although louis could not carry the weight , but he had tremendous power when it came to his baby . paul shouted " niall , laim , zayn " and they rushed to the door  . louis felt his legs trembling unable to hold the weight . not knowing whether it was harry's weight or the weight of these sudden surprises . he was about to fall along with harry when the three of his best friends held him and paul pulled harry and  took him inside , lying him on the nearest couch . louis came inside still blank , gone pale unable to believe his eyes . niall and liam  had some gloss in eyes maybe tears just wanted to come out . for louis seeing harry had already jolted his every nerve and now these three , he is definitely dreaming was all his mind said . zayn was standing next to louis while niall and liam were on opposite sides of the couch next to harry . when harry opened his eyes , first word that came out was " lou " 

louis felt his ears on fire . he looked straight in harry's eyes and harry lifted his hand up gazing at the sight of louis standing in the front .  the word ' lou ' gave louis  the same shivers as they did back then . he thought { has nothing changed ??? , is everything still the same ???????? , no the world had taken a new angle , nothing can be like before } . broken pieces don't mend again . 

that being said niall was the first one to react making harry stand , he hugged him tight joined by liam and louis was pulled by zayn into the first ever again group hug , with louis and harry saying nothing just searching the same love in other one's eyes . and the other three , their happiness couldn't be measured . five lads separated only when paul shouted " okay boys since we all are here , lets have some serious discussions" , he explained them how he wanted them to be together , how he had enough of everyone missing others , how fans wanted one direction back . there were clashes , heated arguments , some tears shed and what not but in the end paul got what he wanted . 

 

that night three slept peacefully but for two - sleepless nights was a regular thing but rolling on the bed sides was all this night held . remorse mixed with love and longing . with a ting of hope and excitement 


	2. all over again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thankyou everyone . i had not expected this response for a small chapter like this . thank you guys . it means alot . and remember to read the title carefully . love you all

  

  

  

Paul had invited them over for breakfast next day at his place , so that things could be discussed further . " so i have decided that for the next few months you guys will be living in the london complex of yours , next to one another " , harry cuts him " what ??? you can't be serious , that's never gonna happen ever again " . Paul speaks again " yes it can surely happen again . actually it is gonna happen again , zayn , liam and niall are already in the plan " . harry and louis turned to the three of them sitting on the middle couch with paul , smiling like idiots . harry and louis were sitting on the adjacent couches opposite one another . Seeing his friends smiling was when louis lost it . Standing up from his seat , " you guys can't do this , this is not a bloody joke ". His voice was a bit loud , he was trying to control his anger " i agreed coming back to the life leaving which was a hell of a task and i am still not over it and now all four of you ( pointing towards four of them on the center couch ) are pushing my walls " . liam was the first one to interject " we are not pushing your walls louis for god's sake . u can't expect us to meet one day , decide we are coming back together as a band and then after few months of meeting go on stage and perform . this is not how things work mate " . niall speaks " he is right tommo we guys need to hang out , need to get comfortable with one another like we used to . this is our second chance and we should give it our best shots" . to this harry says " who is saying we are not serious for it . we are , we can do that , we can hangout during the weekends . its not like we have to know each other again from the start , we have spent 5 years together " . 

liam gave zayn a look and zayn knew it was his turn now  , so he interrupts harry " no harry the rough patch we had past four years , we need to start again " . louis groans and rubs his hands on his face , he was still standing in the middle of the hall " fine i am in it " he shoots . harry's mouth opens in shock and he finds all heads in the room turn to his direction . harry looks at louis once and nods okay . not sure why did he agree and gave in so easily , because he wasn't ready for any of it . but this is what louis does to him . Harry's dictionary loses the word { no } when something has louis in it . louis sits again  , ignoring harry staring at him and paul continues " now that we are all over the board so niall , u will live alone in your house like before with your tons and tons of food , liam and zayn in theirs , perrie and sophia would be obvioulsy joining whenever they come over , so that leaves the two ( pointing at louis and harry one after the other ) living together at your house like before " . 

 

both of them together shouted " WHAT " . paul gave them a minute to sunk it in and continues " what what ??? , what is the deal now . you lived together in that house , you can live again " . harry mumbles " its not easy as it is being said " . which obviously everyone heard . louis shoots in " why are you making me do this , do you find all this a game , were the past four years that i spent a joke , i mean you ask me to do something that would shatter me  **ALL OVER AGAIN** " shouting he continues " you want us to bond , fine we will . i will live with niall and this is sorted now " .  niall sounding irritated " that's not happening man , I CANT SHARE " . louis gave niall a death glare and harry speaks " this is like torturing me paul " . everyone turned to face harry and he had tears in his eyes which he was holding back . but when louis turned and looked at him they rolled down his cheeks .

 

THOSE FUCKING TEARS AGAIN DID SOMETHING TO LOUIS

and now it was paul who lost it  , standing up in the middle of the hall he shouted , something which was a surprise because paul treated them as his own kids " why the hell are you crying ??? ( looking at harry ) hah what the hell are you crying for ???? . he doesnot want to do it ( now pointing at louis ) . you find it torturous ( back to harry ) . why , tell me harry why ???? " . he takes a deep breath and continues " and if this is so difficult and impossible for you two then why the hell were you two soo damm worried about one another . tell me the day , just one single day when harry ( facing him ) you were not like  _{ hey paul is he okay ??? how is he doing ? is he eating properly ?? is there someone cooking for him }_ and you louis ( now turning to him )  were not like {  _hey paul did harry had his medicines , can you please remind him to go to the doctor regurarly } ._

Now louis was crying too . 

paul speaks again ignoring both of them crying  " its not me , its you two who made  this a game , every single day without a miss you two can ask me to make sure other one is fine but you two can't live together again ???? what the fuck is this . now being your daddy I AM TELLING YOU TWO TO LIVE TOGETHER AND TAKE CARE OF EACH OTHER ON YOUR OWN .  you harry take care whether he is eating or not and you louis take care whether he goes to the doctor or not , cse i am done with nine years of babysitting " . PAUL left the room saying " sort this out on your own . i am done " , leaving harry and louis facing one another . 

 

the other three  were just listening up till now but after paul left niall stands next to harry and liam and zayn instantly came close to louis . one thing that makes louis lose his mind was harry crying .  _wasn't this the reason he broke up at the first place , wasn't this why he lived without harry for so long ._ On the other hand harry was not sure why he was crying . because of the fact that louis missed him too or that louis was crying and he could not do anything about it . after minutes of niall holding harry in his arms and louis holding himself together  , he walks across the room standing in front of harry , taking out a handkerchief he says " here " pointing it out to harry , who looks at him in the eye , then looks at his hand and again looking in those deep blue eyes takes the hanky . louis says in his harry special soft accent " dont cry we will figure this out " . and before anyone can say anything he was out of the house .

 

In the night harry was sitting in the chair on the balcony of his house . he had a lengthy journal in his hands . he used to do this occassionaly whenever he couldn't sleep he used to sit in the balcony with the same journal in his hands , full of his and louis's  every single memory shared with pictures and everything , which harry had made all by himself . Reading it till he falls asleep . one thing that happened every other time he used to be in the balcony was a black car parked in front of his house . he found it quiet weird because his house was the only house in the entire lane and there was no point that the car coming was a coincidence . this was  a regular thing . A car coming , parked in front and gone in the morning . He at times thought of going down and checking out but seriously he did not care about anything  in these four years .

sitting and thinking he fell asleep .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys please excuse my spelling mistakes if any . i have recently figured out that i am terrible at typing . thankyou once again everyone .


	3. which direction to run to get back to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this one is a bit long . italics refer to what the character is thinking . enjoy

 

Niall called harry " hey mate when are you coming , liam is already here and zayn is on his way , what about you ??? " . harry answers " yeah i am about to leave ni " . niall ends the call saying " okay mate see you soon " . harry was packing stuff and this call hit him hard {  _he didn't say anything  about louis , so that means he is not coming , what if he reallly doesn't come_ } . he sat on his bed wondering what to do . louis not coming is something he is not ready to face now , mind running like a bullet train {  _what if he still thinks we are not made for one another ?? what if he does not come ?? what if fate still doesnot want us to be together ?_ } . Mind lost in thoughts he packed his stuff  and left the house . 

after 30 minutes he was in his house or  **their house** ( as his heart still believed ) once again . 

He was a bit relieved that louis was still not there and other boys gave him a bit space . with a heavy sigh and gripping his own self together he entered the house . Everything was still the way it was left . he saw every room and every place of the house , every corner had memories , memories that gave meaning to his life , to louis's life . The kitchen where he used to cook food for louis , while all louis used to do was sit on the counter watching him cook and used to give him sex glares and fond filled stares when harry moved around wearing a sexy pink apron .   Sometimes louis used to trouble harry throwing food at him which would turn into food fight and then ending into hour long heated snogging . harry had a watery smile on his face remembering those times  . he stood near the counter thinking about a beautiful sunday evening when harry was cooking and was a bit to much involved with his pans and louis being louis always wanted harry's undivided attention .

louis - harry

louis - hazz

louis - hazza look at me

harry - what louis ? ( mixing the dish ) 

louis - i need a kiss 

harry - .....

louis - haz i said i need a kiss 

and harry being harry too used to give everything his full attention  , was not listening . louis loved how harry used to take everything so seriously but at moment he was getting irritated . so he got down from the counter " fine i am going upstairs and nobody is going to eat your stupid dish and no louis for you tonight " .

harry - what ???? ( turning immediately and moving towards louis ) why no louis for me ?? .

louis - ( harry was  holding louis close and louis had his hands on harry's chest ) yeah out of all what i said this is what caught your attention you prick .

harry - ( smirking ) but i was making something for you tommo.

louis - yeah but you were ignoring me and now all i have to do to get your attention is make you sex deprived for the night. ( pouting )

harry - but you are not serious though ?? are you ??

louis - ( pulling himself away from harry and running out of the kitchen with harry chasing him ) only if you decide what is more important to you , your stupid dish or your sexy boyfriend . 

harry - ( running upstairs behind louis ) wait till i show you what is important needy boyfriend . 

 

Coming back to reality he looked around the kitchen again and headed to the most steamy place in the house ,

 

THE MASTER BEDROOM ,

where they both treated each other like wild animals and in a minute turned into soft bears . He went near the bed , touched the sheet and felt shivers of louis's touch . he lied on the bed with his head buried in the sheets struggling searching louis's smell and tears rolled down his cheeks . he wasn't even a bit embarrassed with all the crying he did in last two days . He was always the weakest and the emotional one in the relationship and he wasn't even ashamed of it because louis treated him like a baby , protecting him against all odds , protecting him against the world. he laid there and only got up when he felt the sheet being soaked in tears . he imagined the times when louis used to come in the room and find harry crying on the bed because of all the hiding and all the separation . louis used to hold him in his arms for hours whispering sweet nothings and i love you's . Harry heard someone shouting his name from the hall . he got up , rubbed his face , wiping tears  headed down to the hall . It was zayn . He came and he hugged harry knowing what was he going through . they both sat on the couch and zayn tried comforting harry but all harry needed was louis , with every passing hour his hope was getting more and more bleak . zayn left at five in the evening and louis was still not there . he was lying on the couch facing the door waiting for louis and watching telly . lost in thoughts he fell asleep . 

 

louis came around 10 pm , it wasn't easy for him at all . he spent the entire day preparing himself . when he entered the house acting strong and ready to face harry . the sight of the hall came as a surprise . He knew harry was waiting for him since he was lying on the couch  facing the door . looking at the tv screen he knew harry slept watching love actually  **their movie** ( as his heart still believed ) . he stood next to harry looking at his sleepy face remembering the times when he used to spend nights just watching harry sleep . he took his hand out to rub harry's cheek to feel his baby skin but pulled back just inches before . he stood there for a while and giving a last glance to him , he took his luggage and went to his room .  **  
**

Next day harry woke up at 3 in the afternoon after countless sleepless nights finally he had the best sleep in years . The first thought that hit him was  _where is louis ??? ._ He got up in a haste and looked in the house , nobody was there . his breathing fastened , he felt a little pain and fear arising in his heart . he went straight into louis's room . banged the door open and sighed heavily seeing luggage bags . SO LOUIS WAS THERE ,  and next time harry checked he was smiling like an idiot .  with Rush of emotions , he came out of the room and sat on the couch in the hall . he picked his phone from the table to call niall but he already had a message from zayn 

zayn - hey harry come over here , niall arranged lunch . louis is here too .

harry replied bck - coming mate . 

 

AT ZAYN'S 

zayn and niall were arranging lunch while louis and liam were sitting in the hall discussing about how things are gonna work out and zayn shouted " harry is coming guys " . This was something louis didn't want to know, he shifted in his seat and liam noticed . he immediately put his arm around louis's shoulder and said ' it really is not that difficult mate " . louis facing liam " oh yea ! laim not difficult at all , really its damm easy !!!!! . you guys met your best friends again . i gotta face my ex- boyfriend , for god's sake liam " . liam answered him immediately " yeah i know that but the thing is that you two will be together in the end again . that's how things work and will work with you and harry " . louis giving liam a look " i don't see how these four years worked out for him and for me especially " . liam knew what he was doing and as always he had a perfect answer " don't tell me you don't get it . oh boy !! how can you be so blinded . look you two separated , for four years  and now you two are back again , if you both are not the two sides of the same coin then why are you still alone . four years is a long time to find someone and forget someone " . before louis could process that  , enters harry . 

there was a different type of calmness on his face . if louis did not know harry so well then it wasn't possible to figure out that he deliberately dressed himself today and also brushed his long locks , which is usually not harry's thing . louis did not understand WHY ?? WHAT WAS THIS DRESSING FOR ?? . Harry waved liam hii and looked at louis for a minute and went straight to the kitchen to help zayn and niall . as soon as he entered the kitchen niall shouted " oh thank god ! mate you came . this is not my stuff , eating is good for me , u handle all of this " . both zayn and harry started laughing . zayn spoke " niall you already finished everything and harry just help me out to bring all this out " and after 5 minutes three of them came out with dishes and beer bottles . louis was simply looking at harry , sinking in the feeling of old harry , HIS HARRY. always walking out of the kitchen towards louis with food in hands and those flirty glances . This harry was louis's  favourite harry ,  but who was he kidding with every harry was his favourite . 

 

they kept food in between and all of them sat on the floor with zayn and niall next to louis with  liam and harry sitting together . louis and harry kept giving each other sneaky glances . they all talked about how were their past years and what all they did . harry said he went back to homes chapel and louis finished himself saying he was busy doing some business . no one in the room asked both of them anything feeling the tension in the room would increase . zayn distracted them by holding the plate of sandwiches he made with the help of niall " yo guys try this out , perrie taught me these " . niall poked him " ahm aham !! zaynie turned domestic , not bad not bad ". they both started hitting each other with rest of them laughing and finally liam spoke " guys just stop with your banter and lets try malik's special sandwiches " . Each of them took one and niall shouted " cheers to 5 lads . laddy lads coming back together in the den " . harry laughed and took a bite thinking this is what he wants in life , these four sitting next to him but before that he had to find louis , had to find  **WHICH DIRECTION TO RUN TO GET BACK TO HIM .**

louis was about to take a bite , when something heavy , something with great force landed on him pushing him down on the floor on his back . something heavy pushed him down . he opened his eyes with a flicker after seconds and his breathing stopped , it was harry . HARRY LYING ON HIM .  louis had this view every single day of his life for 5 years but now it came as a shock . their faces were inches apart , both of them breathing each other's air when harry shouted " louis lou that sandwich has pepper in it " . that's when it clicked louis , harry remembered his allergy to peppers . but harry was not stopping , he kept on rambling " no lou dont eat that thing " . louis tried calming him down " harry i am fine . i didn't eat it . shh harry everything is fine " . but there was no stopping . zayn said " sorry guys i forgot " , but liam shushed him saying " shut up its good , at least something is happening ". niall was looking at them with a big smile . he used to love this view  - harry lying on louis . 

 

louis cupped harry's cheeks " harry look at me " , harry continues " no louis those sandwiches ,  pepper , you chocked , no " . louis pressed his cheeks so that the warmth of his hands can calm harry down " hazza look at me love " . harry had a big frown and scared face , he looked at louis in his eyes and then he too stopped breathing . louis continued holding harry in his spell " look harry i am fine love . i am fine don't worry , i didn't eat that sandwich " . It took harry not much time and louis , just few more words before harry calmed down . they got up and harry came back to his seat . zayn said " sorry mate " storking harry's lap assuring him . he was well aware how disturbing it used to be for harry to see louis in any kind of pain back then . when louis came back to the real world his mind shouted  _what the fuck just happened ._ To hide his emotions from harry , he hurriedly got up , dashed out of the house saying " sorry guys i need to go " . 

when harry came back home he found louis was not back yet . he went to his room and lying on the bed thinking how close they were , how familiar it was being so close to louis , so close . at 12 midnight the front door banged and that's when harry figured louis is back . 


	4. Now kiss me you fool

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this is one of my favourite chapter , hope you guys like it too . italics refer to what the characters are thinking .

  

  

 

Louis went straight  from zayn's house to his own backyard . he was restless and worried , not because what happened but because of what could have happened . He was about to kiss harry . Had there been just two of them he definately would have , ( i cannot , how can i even think of kissing him again  ). He came back only when his thoughts settled down . Next morning when harry woke up , he went down for his breakfast and found that louis was  out . He knew louis was trying to ignore him . Louis didn't want to face harry , but harry had spent his four years in homes chapel waiting for the day when he will meet louis again . Because this was what was decided . If fate brings them back then that's it they are never gonna get away from each other's asses ever again .

 

While preparing tea sitting on the kitchen counter harry thought ,  ( what if louis has forgot the conversation , their last conversation or if louis still believes that they are not meant to be together  ) . harry thought if that is so then he will take charge this time . he will make him realize . He will bring larry stylinson back together , because they have had their fair share of separation and tears , now all that is gonna happen is LOUIS AND HARRY FOREVER . He decided to discuss this with others . He decided he would stay at liam's little longer in the evening . While he was drinking his tea louis enters the house . He looks damm cute and cuddly , wearing his cute british rogue hoodie and shorts with hair sticking out perfectly . He gave harry a forced smile and came to the kitchen , harry was already sitting on the table  in their kitchen . Louis quitely started making his tea .

harry thought ( what have we come too . in the same room and acting like strangers ) While louis was waiting for his tea harry blurted out " so ahm ! are you lou or louis tomlinson ??? " . Louis turned his entire body towards harry and with a confused look he asked " what do u mean harry " . harry was immediate to reply " i guess you know what i mean . still i will explain you , so who are you to me right now , my lou or everyone's LOUIS TOMLINSON ? " . louis was shocked " where is this coming from ??? " . harry raised his voice a bit and replied " what do you mean . you are trying to ignore me don't think i don't understand . you come back home when i am asleep , you move out before i even wake up " . louis immediately said " i am trying to do what is best for us . lets finish with this reunion thing and behave as professionals harry . that is best for us " . harry stood from his seat , " last time when you decided for two of us , you and i had to spend four years without each other . i guess it would be great if this time you don't use your mind and lets's just accept the fact that we are together again in this house of ours ".

Louis was not ready for this conversation so early . he knew he would have to but not so early . harry now was standing in his space . He held his shoulders , jerked them " come out of your thoughts lou ". louis tried to release himself from harry's hold . but harry had his strong grip , maybe his mind was also strongly made up , " common louis say something . you know you cant ignore me like this " . Louis answers him back " yes i can harry and yes i will . i don't know why can't you see it but the second time we met again you were crying . don't you remember what happened last time ". now harry was proper pissed " what the fuck louis do you even hear yourself . you remember what happened last time but you don't remember what we had and still have ( releasing louis harry stood a little away frowning and arms crossed around chest ) . louis took a heavy sigh and spoke " we have nothing left harry " and off he goes to his room banging the door with force . harry sat on the chair again . he had a weird feeling full of angst and he spoke quietely WHAT I AM GONNA DO WITH HIM .  Brushing his hair once he too went to his room and called gemma . he told her everything that was going on and asked her what was he supposed to do now , gemma's one line stuck in his head { you need to woo him back baby brother } and that's what harry is gonna do now he decided . 

 

In the evening harry went to liam's first and later came louis still ruined by sleep turning on harry straight away . harry knew soon there will be a lot of sexual tension between the two of them like they had in the starting days of x factor . Paul was also there . he looked happy seeing everything is at its best place right now . they discussed cities and countries for the tour and had few pints . then paul went to finalize things with their new management azoff's . louis too stood up to leave , he said he had some business calls to attend and harry immediately spoke up " i am gonna stay with you liam for a while ". liam looked confused because harry actually shouted , (  _what was the need he is sitting next to me_ ) . But harry could see louis had a little smile while moving out . louis knew that piece of information was exclusively for him and not for payno . harry took that smile as a bleek hope , maybe things weren't that bad . He discussed what happened in the morning with the other three, what gemma said and what all they had to say and since everyone were on the same page ,

harry said standing in the middle of the hall " SO ITS TIME TO START MISSION  **REIGN ON LOUBEAR'S ASS** "

 

They all started laughing . niall was the first one to speak " yak harry you're the worst of us all " and harry said laughing " i know mate you're just jealoused because that ass is mine !!! the world can only dream of what all i got to do with those marvelous piece of bums " . " you are an idiot harry " was all zayn could bring out , he was laughing so hard . they talked , laughed , relived the old memories and then niall , zayn and harry went back to their pads . When harry came back louis was sitting on the couch in front of telly . The conversation that he had with harry in the morning released something , some unknown feeling , something louis cannot describe that loosened his heart and released his strong grip on his self control , somewhere down his every nerve  wanted to be cuddled inside harry's huge limbs . Harry entered the house , removed his jacket and shoes , placed them in their proper places and went for a cup of tea . standing near the counter he asked " do you want some tea , i am making one " . louis replied not even turning his head " i had mine and made one for you too " He didnot even need to see that  stupid blushing harry face . He knew he will melt if he turns to look at harry . This being completely true harry took his cup and started walking towards his room with a stupid blushing smile , shouting to himself in the head (  _go slow harry , go slow you will scare him away otherwise_ ) trying hard to stop himself from going near the couch and kissing the hell out of louis . 

Back then whenever louis wanted harry to cuddle him , to take charge , to be the big spoon , to drive him to sleep with long and soft kisses after fucking him hard . there used to be his tea already made by the great louis tomlinson . that was for harry louis's kink . " HOLY SHIT " shouted harry and this time out loud . louis suddenely turned and looked at harry " what harry , whats wrong " he to shouted , he saw harry standing on the opposite side of the living area holding his cup " whats wrong , why did you shout , u scared me " . 

Harry - you made me tea ???? ( this time he wasn't shouting , instead it was a sweet little whisper )

Louis - so ???? ( confused ) 

Harry - so ???? ( he winked )

they both now were looking at each other and then apple hit louis's head and he figured 

Louis - oh god !!! no no harry no no not that 

Harry - then why this tea ??? . no wait the actual question should be why not ???

Louis - ( his mouth flat open ) harry what are you saying . wait let me clear it out . i made tea because i was rude to you in the morning , which was probably not right and secondly what are you upto mate , u want us to cuddle ??? like seriously ??? .

harry thought _i_ _f you can play with my mind MR. LOUIS TOMLINSON then here i am_ and he spoke " oh lewis my mate ( moving towards louis , they now stood face to face ) so mate yeah what is i say yes " 

louis was both speechless and breathless and harry was loving it . he just loved their cute little tiffs .

Louis - harry stop making this difficult for both of us .

harry - then u better stop acting like u don't want me back .

Louis - we can't be back ( he sounded hurt more then being irritated ) 

Harry - we can , we surely can only if you get that shit thing out of your head 

Louis - u know that wasn't shit .

Harry - it was baby , because my last few years did not go like the way you predicted . 

Louis - i need to go to bed , good night harry its enough for one day .

he turned back towards his room tired of these conversations and tired of fighting back to control his emotions but harry pulled him back and turned him around to face him again .

Harry - first finish what you started.

Louis - i don't know where the hell your mind is right now .

Harry - you made me tea , so now finish it off lou .

Louis - you cant be serious ( he was dead shocked , what was harry upto )

Harry - really try me then 

Louis - really harry ??? ( instantly using one of his firmest tones ) just go back to your bed now !!!!!! .

Harry - nobody is leaving till mr. tomlinson finishes his job ( he was smirking , he was loving it ) 

Louis knew when harry wants something he just gets it and if he wants louis then he has to have him , but if harry is not taking things seriously then louis decided that he will .

Louis - you can't force me to kiss you , you know !

Harry - oh really mate ( he had his devilish expresson ) you out of all know that i seriously can loubear and i know you want it too 

Louis - well that's not true . i don't want too ( while his head was like  _u want too , i want too harry . god i so terribly want you now . i need you lips on mine right now_. but he played it cool  all thanks to all the acting he had to do all these years with eleanor )

Harry - ( he instantly fired back ) stop fooling yourself . you know you were about to kiss me yesterday . i could see it in your eyes . don't think i didnot notice that . i know you much better . i hope you remember that . now will you kiss me or not .  **JUST KISS ME YOU FOOL .**

louis took a step back " u dont know me now harr" and then harry took what he wanted . there lips went crashing . when louis didn't flinch for a second , harry confirmed it that louis wanted this too . he so wanted this and this made harry smile in the middle of the kiss . he pulled louis close holding him tight as if he didn't want even the air to pass between them . louis had no idea when harry's hands came resting on his hips and when louis had his fingers rubbing harry's curls lightly . they kissed finally , it was rough , to fast and way to greedy . Passion and lust increased manifold when harry's tongue ghosted around louis's lips , searching entrance in his mouth . they both were needy in their kiss but louis did not let harry take it to another level . he didn't open his mouth to let harry in . no he couldn't . HE can't let harry use his tongue because then who will stop louis and his half hardened dick that only needed harry right now . So he pulled back . Harry did not fight this time . louis thanked every god above because if harry had kissed or touched him again then no blowjob or handjob could have handled his internal friction . So harry stood a step back wiping his lips with the back of his hand . victory easily visible on his face . He said sheepishly " good night louis , you're still amazing as ever " and he went to his room not even turning back . louis cursed his own self control and pissed by harry's {  I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT ATTITUDE } called it night . licking his lips once again to have harry's taste while moving to his room . 

 

 

 

 


	5. You light up my world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i know its been a while since i last uploaded a chapter . i am sorry it took me so long . had been busy with some stuff and then all that is happening in the fandom lately , was really not in a good state . i know its been a rough week in the fandom but don't worry guys we are stronger than ever and our larents are also way to strong . louis and harry will find their way out of this and we will too . just stay strong and together . hope this chapter makes you all smile .

 

  

  

 

 

It was Saturday so zayn and liam were both busy with their girlfriends who came over for the weekend . Louis went with niall for shopping and playing golf and harry spent the entire day handling the backyard which was a complete mess . Louis had left a note in the hall " with niall " written on it . Harry knew louis wouldn't face him , he would remain out of sight after the kiss and harry was kinda prepared for it because who said being in love was easy and he has handled a lot more than being ignored . He watched some telly , wrote some songs that were due . He had celebrity and few singer collaborations for whom he used to write songs . The only thing was that he had his rep who managed the dealings and nobody actually met or saw harry . They just got his work , and he had some pending work , so he spent the other half of the day finishing work . He ordered pizza and then called it the night , knowing there was no point waiting for louis to be back .

 

Louis came back with niall at 10 in the night . He got drunk with niall . he needed the booze to take his mind of harry , but more than drunk he got frustrated and more like irritated . 

It had been a week since he saw harry before sleeping . He had to see harry . This entire week went by ignoring harry but now it was enough for louis . He survived full one week without harry and today he just couldnot take it . He knew it wasn’t just the booze talking it was his mind and heart totally gone for harry since the first encounter . So he came back to the house and went straight to harry’s room instead of his . Harry was fast asleep and a side table lamp was the only source of light in the room but enough to highlight harry’s every feature . He went close to his bed , looked at harry sleeping which was an ultimate gift to mankind . That face can light up louis’s entire life in seconds . Louis rubbed his own face to handle to spur of emotions flowing in his body , looking at harry he whispered ( god harry I love you so much, it hurts . ) . After, it few minutes of drowning himself more in harry’s love he got up and sat on the armchair opposite harry’s bed . He sat there looking at harry and whimpered . A while later he thought he would stay here losing all the strength to pick himself up and go back to his room . He thought he would wake up and go back to his room before harry wakes up . so he put an alarm.  

The alarm ringed at five . He woke up startled , he looked around the room , rubbed his eyes , the view in the front was amazing yet worth of giving him heart attack . He again wiped his eyes , to make sure that this wasn’t some kind of dream . he had a big smile on his face . Maybe he smiled this bright after years because this wasn’t the one who was sitting on the armchair sleeping . not the one who put the alarm in the first place . This he was the one lying on the bed . The one who just wanted to hold  the other one sitting in the armchair close and never let him escape again .  He was harry . That alarm woke up the wrong man and harry couldn’t be more greatful, earlier both of them hated alarms cause that meant to get out of each other’s embrace but today harry loved it . He loved the view . He got up not even tearing his eyes from louis for a minute . He took the blanket , went to louis ,wrapped the blanket around him , kissed his forehead and said “ I love you boo” and he went for the shower .  

Harry was so happy he was literally singing in the shower . He felt his cheeks aching with all the smiling he had done since waking up . BUT WHO WAS COMPLAINING  . He came out and saw louis was still sleeping . he stood in front of him looked at him and wondered when he could cover that face once again with his soft kisses . he went to the closet and changed his clothes . Being naked around louis was never his issue , so he didn’t seem to care any less . later he went down to prepare his breakfast , not sure whether to prepare louis’s breakfast . so instead doing anything that would shove louis away he settled to his own thing . louis came down after 10 minutes or so . He passed the kitchen and without even looking at harry rushed to his room . The way this thing happened harry got the feeling that last night was not something louis wanted harry to have known but harry was happy atleast he knew that louis wasn’t too far off the road.

 

Louis did not come out of his room till late in the evening. Now harry was worried , he had not even had a single meal . It felt as if louis was punishing himself for last night . So instead of making it more awkward harry called laim to come over . Liam called out louis , knocking at his door with food and glass of juice and he was allowed in with no hustle . Harry stood outside the room and louis told liam to lock it . Harry was used to sassy louis so he wasn’t much affected . He waited in the hall and it took liam two hours to come out of louis’s room . Looking at how restless harry was liam stroked his head and finally spoke “ what are you two doing to each other . he is all messed up harry and here you are , just look at you . why can’t you two just talk for once . I know life was not fair to both of you but now the chance you have got , why are you wasting it . He is messed up harry . He is taking everything on him . He has always been your strength harry whenever you needed him and also when you did not , now I guess its your turn mate” .

When liam finished the only thing harry said was “ has he eaten , what is he doing now” . Liam replied him patting his shoulder “ yeah mate he has eaten and now he said he was gonna sleep” . harry answered back “ okay thanks li , ill do what you said” . liam hugged harry before saying “ yah mate do something before you loose him forever” . and now after liam left harry sitting alone in their house . Although he wasn’t all alone but still today it felt like that . He had no clue what to do next , so he decided that he would rest his thoughts for now and see what happens next day .

“ come on mate get up , since when you started sleeping so late” , niall shouted . liam jerked harry’s shoulders and harry opened his eyes and saw all four of them standing on his head . laim spoke “ come on harry we have to meet our new management today and discuss about the tour , get up” . harry got up and freshened up and all five of them headed to the management office in the same car that louis was driving and harry was sitting in the passenger seat . The whole ride to the management office was not much eventful . All five of them were just talking with harry and louis ignoring each other and niall getting bit excited as always .

They had their meeting which was good . All of them had happy faces coming out of the meeting . Liam said “ cant imagine when was I so relaxed coming out of the board meeting ever” . They had it good . This management was nice to them , they promised to not to overburden them , they listened to their requests and all they had to say in the meeting , including their inputs too . Basically they treated them as humans . Louis dropped niall , harry and liam back to the complex and went with zayn for some drinks and cigrettes . Zayn and louis had a lot to catch up . They were the best of best friends in the group so they decided to spend time together and harry again found himself all alone in the big house .


	6. Make you feel like home again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys again it took me 3 weeks to upload a new chapter . been writing a lot lately so couldn't make it . but hey i am here now with the next chapter . also guys i have written a larry one shot that i guess i will be uplaoding maybe tomorrow and i have a piece of poem written on the 1/5 love of my life " mr. louis tomlinson " himself . which i am gonna upload on twitter today in few hours . SO YEAH BEEN WRITING ALOT !!! HEHE . feel free to check out how a single picture of loubear destroyed me and i had no other way to settle my emotions than writing it out . my twitter handle is booloveshazza @doncasterboo . njoy !!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Standing in the hall way at six in the evening , he looked around the house rubbing his hands he spoke “ come on harry take charge , **MAKE HIM FEEL LIKE HOME AGAIN**  , yeah ! lets make louis feel like home again” . he went to louis’s room and as expected it was a big mess . Known as the messiest member of one direction since ages louis never disappointed harry . The room was filled with clothes , shoes lying everywhere . It certainly was a big mess , half of the luggage was out on the floor and half still abandoned in the bags . THIS WAS LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON in harry’s world . Harry was the one taking care of messy louis from the start , so he started with the closet and it took him three hours to bring louis’s room back to life . Then he spent another 2 hours cooking stuff in the kitchen .

Louis came back at 11 and to get the first hand reaction from him harry seated himself in the living room trying to pretend of being busy on his phone . Louis came and went straight to his room and the night did not end well for the two .

Louis saw the room empty and clean , no clothes lying on the floor , no shoes sitting on the table stand and the couch , no headbands and hoodies piled up in the corner of the room . There was a huge pile of clothes that needed washing , the whole freaking pile was gone , when he couldn’t see his toothbrush lying next to his pillow because the bed was all neatly made up . He had tears in the back of his eyes when he saw his room and the reason was that harry did all this for him . He gaped at his room . Harry took care of louis’s stuff like always . Louis looked around the room as if he was on the room tour of his own room for the first time . He opened the cupboards , saw the closet all his clothes were perfectly placed , everything lined up . Everything in louis’s life was always made perfect by harry and its still the same . While on the other side harry was now gone to biting his nails , he was worried and scared thinking (what if his wish to make louis happy backfires ) , but what can he do now instead of waiting . Louis went to his study table and saw a note lying there , he picked it , read it and had to give in and sit in the chair nearby . His legs were not acting strong anymore , one tear rolled down and rest he controlled . He wasn’t that weak but that note had made the tears building behind his eyes roll down

“ I KNOW YOU ALWAYS USED TO SAY THAT I AM YOUR HOME , BUT RIGHT NOW SINCE I AM STILL A BIT FAR AWAY , HOPE THIS MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE HOME AGAIN BABY ”

YOUR HAZ

 

Louis kept looking at the note till someone knocked at his door . Before looking who was there he folded the note and carefully placed it in his pockets , then saw harry standing at the door with the sweetest smile melting louis in its gaze . Louis looked at harry with no idea how to react , he walked the distance between them and stood in front of harry . Harry immediately spoke “ please say something” and louis walked passed harry without saying a word or looking at him. { What the fuck just happened } , Now harry was hurt , he stood there frozen. He hadn’t expected this to happen . Louis simply ignored him and after a minute or so he heard someone or something cracking and loud cries flowing in the house . He rushed out and he felt his eyes burning . Louis was sitting on the floor , maybe fallen on his knees was much better to explain the front . With knees pressed to his chest , arms resting on the knees and face hidden in them , he was crying loudly , like a proper break down , which was enough to shatter harry too . louis was strong , he rarely cried and looking at louis a crying mess in their kitchen with cries so loud haunting the entire house harry was near his breakdown too .

Managing somehow harry saw a broken plate on the floor next to louis on the left . harry could not believe his eyes , he had expected that if room plan doesn’t work then the dish would definately but now it seems that the world is going upside down . Harry had prepared the meal that louis made for him , just him , which was the first one of louis but now chicken stuffed in mozzarella cheese wrapped in parma ham with some homemade mash was crumpled to pieces on the floor mixed with the broken dish pieces .

 

Harry ignored it and dashed to louis on the ground , he instantly held louis in his arms sitting on his knees , with one hand gripping louis’s waist and the other one holding the back of his head . He was caressing louis’s hair , holding him as tightly as he can “shhh louis , what happened love , why are you crying ??? I thought all this would make you happy , I am so sorry if I hurt you . I didn’t want to . I just …” and instantly louis pressed himself inside harry’s embrace a bit more not letting harry finish his sentence . he snuggled his face in harry’s chest still crying and in seconds harry felt his shirt getting soaked . harry pulled him pressing him closer to his chest like louis would disappear in the wind “lou please tell me what’s wrong you’re scaring me . what made you cry love ??? is it me ??? plz tell me boo” and here was harry crying tooo . louis could tell harry was crying because he felt harry’s breaths were uneven against his face .

 

Louis got up on his knees just like harry was , hugging harry tightly again and placing his head in the crook of harry’s neck . harry started rubbing his back and he stopped when louis finally spoke “please don’t do this harry , please don’t make me do this again . I know you want us to be together but i …i just ca…cant . I know I said I would always protect you and I did , I never showed you how hurt i was or how troubled I was with our whole situation . they made me act in front of the world whole day alone when all I wanted was you .” louis tilted his head up and looked at harry whereas harry was blank , a blank face . louis looked at him in the eye and continued “ and I had to act around you that I can deal with this , that I can handle this”. Louis didn’t know what he was saying . The words just came out . maybe this was the burst he was controlling all these years to never come out especially in front of harry .

 

“ I tried protecting you harry , but still I failed , you were not happy . I always saw you crying and you even lost your smile . I used to come back home holding myself together , used to handle you showing I am strong and can bear all that is shoved to our faces , but maybe I am not , maybe not strong enough , maybe I was in the start but later I lost myself” louis felt tears building up again with a large gulp he rested his head in harry’s neck once again . “ I couldn’t handle your tears and mine at the same time haz . I knew I had to save you , you were my responsibility , that is why I never let you see my weaker side , but now I have got nothing left in me . I can’t bear seeing you crying anymore knowing I am the reason behind it and I can’t even make them stop . I can handle everything harry , the hate the world gave me , the shade for my insecurities , every wrong word that came my way but I cannot handle you in pain . someone treating you badly killed me. Please don’t do this harry , please don’t make me do this again” . louis finished his last words and was still for a while whereas harry oh he just had a 10 minute trip to the hell and back .

 

Harry was not moving , he freezed , his hands were no longer holding louis, they were just hanging around louis’s sides. It was louis who was holding harry . louis gave a little whimper and that’s when harry came out of his zone . harry hugged louis again but he was numb and emotionless, it was just a hold that’s about it . he didn’t know louis was suffering so much because louis always showed everything is in his control . he acted so strong { the thing was , when louis saw harry destroying himself in alcohol and his sufferings because of being depicted as a womanizer , he thought of doing something cause handling the larry rumours and all the hiding was already enough of a burden on their hearts . when in one interview harry was titled as the biggest whore in the band louis’s patience reached its insane level . he couldn’t handle his boyfriend being treated like this . so he went to management alone and had a new deal that they clear harry’s image in the public , showing harry’s true self and in turn louis would do more appearances and stuff with Eleanor to handle the rumors , basically Louis shifted the entire burden on his shoulders which the two shared earlier to free harry } . little did louis know this would lead to the last straw of his patience wearing off .

 

But harry didn’t know louis was acting most of the time . he kept his thoughts aside and started rubbing louis’s back again , gaining some unknown inner strength he spoke “okay louis calm down . I won’t , i…i won’t do any..thing . relax louis . I am here for you in whichever way you want” . they stayed like that for a while till louis’s breathing slowed down . no words were spoken again . harry picked louis up supporting his hips and louis was still wrapped around harry like a koala , face still buried in harry . harry took him to his room “ come on louis you need to sleep” was all he could say . he carefully placed louis on the bed , louis’s strong grip told harry that he did not want harry to go and liam’s words banged in his head once again ( he needs you harry ) so harry lied next to louis and louis rested his entire body on harry , he tangled their legs together , head on harry’s chest and holding harry’s shirt tightly . harry didn’t move or say anything . he wanted the night to end with louis snuggled up in his arms . yes it surely did but now harry had lost his louis for forever . harry was himself in the state of shock , mindlessly he put an arm around louis , holding him in and started drawing circles on his back . it didn’t take long before louis started snoring , his breathing evened out , but harry had lost his patience , his hope , his louis EVERYTHING .


	7. Don't make this any harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys , its time for chapter number 7 . yayyyy !!!!!!! thanku so much for the kudos and for noticing this work even , means so much to me . this has boosted my self confidence so much . thankyou guys .  
> Give a second glance to the title of the chapter after reading it and please please excuse any mistakes .. NJOY .

 

 

It was 3am , louis was still asleep in harry’s hold but harry laid there with eyes wide awake . He had to know the truth , he had to know what was actually going on in louis’s head all that time . Which louis was real the one who was with him facing the world earlier or the one who was few hours ago crying in his arms asking for to be left alone . he was confused , kind off felt betrayed because if all those things that left louis’s mouth were true at any level then it was harry’s turn now to let the blood leave his body and let his already broken heart rip heart apart which would be beyond repair this time .

 

He had only one way to know the truth so he slowly pulled louis’s hand which was wrapped around his waist and louis’s leg tangled with his limbs leaving louis there . Standing beside the bed and to turn and look at louis’s small figure holding the duvet the way it held harry seconds ago as if his life depended on it was something that harry couldn’t gather the strength for . So without turning back he straight away headed to the house backyard . He called jay , not even bothering about the time . He just had to know everything and jay was the only one who would know .

 

She picked the call on the fourth ring . he heard a loud and hurried hello , maybe calling at this time in the night and being your son’s ex boyfriend was not a great combination . oh but did harry care ???? no he didn’t , atleast not in this moment .

Jay – hello ?? hello harry ??? harry love say something , whats wrong son ? , hows louis ??? where is he ? where are you ? is he fine ? are you okay ??? .

  
And harry couldn’t gather the voice ( son and love ) . it has been so long since he heard these words , she used to call him this all the time and now it’s been so long . when harry didn’t make any noise jay calmed down a bit , figuring harry needed his time , figuring there was nothing to worry about but but at the same time alot to worry about . so she waited for a minute and tried again .

 

Jay – talk to me baby , I am here , what’s bothering you ? . 

Harry – hey I am sorry for calling so late but I need to ask you something .

Jay – why are you sounding so low love ? ( worry was simply clear from her voice ) I’ll tell you everything but first tell me what is going on with you .

 

And she waited again because harry couldn’t frame the words . he was least prepared for what’s was gonna come his way after this . taking a deep breath , clutching the phone tightly in his hands he muttered “ was louis actually strong and level headed during that time or he was putting a show for me and everyone else” .

Jay –

Harry –

Jay --

Harry – jay ???

Jay –

Harry – please jay say something please I really want to know .

 

( Who knew silence could ever hurt so much !!!!!! ask harry ……..)

 

Jay – mmhm harry why are you asking this now ?

Harry – please please tell me . I need to know ( he was ready to beg by this point )

Jay – I guess I am not the right person to tell you harry , you should ask him .

Harry – he told me what all he could rest I need you to tell me ( he was getting irritated why nobody was fucking telling him anything and why was he kept away from all of this , this whole time ) .  
Maybe jay felt the iritation in his voice so she finally spoke ,

Jay – okay harry , please don’t think much because it was all in the past love . but yes , yes he was acting in front of you . yes he was pretending to be strong in front of everyone .

Harry – ( that hurt like a hard punch )

Jay – h..he came home one day , hugged me and cried for an entire day . he told “ how tired he was of all of this acting that he had to do with Eleanor to protect your and his love . he said how mu..much he was h…hurt to see you crying and destroying yourself . ( her voiced started to crack , both of them remained silent for ages . she had the images of her devastated first born crying on the couch asking for someone to hold him and give him just a minute of peace . those flashes were afresh in her mind , will always be . and he , harry , he was just rubbing his thigh with his right hand trying to calm his nerves and not to think about what all he had not seen or not known about the only one thing that mattered to him the most , while other hand trying to muster the strength to hold the phone ) .

 

And jay started again although her voice was breaking but she had to let it all out to harry in the hope that maybe he could bring her louis back

Jay – he told me if he gets wea….weak o..or prone in front of you then you would crumble to pieces , so he said he has to take …. Take all of it . I couldn’t handle that harry , my son he , he , he was in so much pain and I was helpless .

Harry – ( what could he say )

Jay – he used to call me every now and then when you were not around or he was … he was alone just to be a bit close to reality for a while . he said once he was losing himself . my son , my . he , said he was losing himself . I don’t know what else to say . I am sorry .

And the line went dead .

 

Surely she had nothing else to say and harry had nothing else to say either but he was still sitting on the ground staring at his phone “ so louis acted” first thing that came out after an hour of staring at his phone , then staring at the sky , then staring at god knows what . harry couldn’t give louis protection and safety , the love that he got in return . “ so I am not even good enough for him” ( he again started rubbing his thighs holding back the tears ) . he knew it was his mistake , his weakness was what louis had to coverup for . had he been there for louis , had he held himself together a little stronger not placing everything on his shoulders maybe this had not gone worse . he lied on the ground looking no where , wandering his mind to every bit of that time , collecting his thoughts of both feeling betrayed by louis for not being real to him and feeling guilty for making this more harder for him now .

 

\--------2 hours later -------

Still in the same state he decided he would stay away , he would give louis what he wanted PROFESSIONALISM it is !!!! .  
“ **NOT GONNA MAKE THIS ANY HARDER** ” , he said out aloud .


	8. one smiling , other one boiling

 

 

 

Louis did not know what was wrong with harry. It had been nearly two weeks since Louis’s breakdown and harry was acting completely different . Everyone noticed the sudden change in harry . He was quiet , way to quiet for harry styles himself . His interactions were limited to just things related to the tour and work . He used to sit with the four of them and wouldn’t even utter a single word , would be just lost somewhere . Liam and niall tried to know what was wrong but all harry had to say was that he was stressed with being on stage again . but Louis could figure out this wasn’t the reason because not only was harry quiet, he was completely different , the glint of happiness and hope that harry had in the beginning was gone replaced by a frown and sadness and he always appeared to be in deep thoughts ,  at home he acted like stranger, didn’t even look at Louis anymore, never sat or stood in the same  room with him either .

 

 

More importantly, all those sweet things harry was doing to make Louis feel special , to bring them back had stopped . Instead, he spent his entire day locked in his room . Louis wasn’t taking this well . Although he never admitted but silently and secretly he loved all that . Loved the attention and love harry was giving , loved the warmth and comfort harry radiated . Somewhere deep inside he was happy that harry still loved him and wanted him back . That feeling when the person you love with all your heart and soul loves you back and still wants you back after years of separation . That feeling , that satisfaction is beyond comparing . Louis knew he was lucky but now he was worried what made harry stop because harry is not the one who gives up so easily . He decided to talk to harry today after party . Even the other three also insisted that Louis needs to find out what’s wrong.

 

Today was an official party that management insisted on . It was arranged at Larry household .  All the journalists, media persons and the biggies of showbiz and music industry were invited. Basically it was a party to get the world’s attention that one direction was back in business. All five of them were scattered around the hall and the backyard with different people they had known since years . Drinks, pictures, everything was in full swing. Everyone seemed happy. But Louis was freaking out and the anger was building up . There were like 200 people in there but out of all harry had to go and stand with Nick Grimshaw.

 

Nick out of all the bunch of options available although louis would have had problem with every single one but bearing others would have  been a less difficult one to handle . Louis would never stop hating this guy. ”If he could be pardoned a bullet, Nick Grimshaw would be nowhere to be seen.” He always used to tell harry this whenever nick tried to come in the radar of harry .  Now was nothing different . Nick and harry were standing alone and together . Both were laughing and Nick had his hands placed on Harry’s hips . **Harry was all smiling and laughing and Louis was boiling.** When party came to its end and everyone was leaving , nick gave harry a hug which lasted for a whole minute as per Louis’s count and the way he rubbed Harry’s back , Louis lost it .

 

He dashed to the other end of the hall; pushed Nick’s hand away from Harry and startled both of them . “That’s enough.” He placed his hand on Harry’s hips and pulled him in his grip. “The party is over nick , I guess you must leave now . Nick knew Louis’s possessiveness towards harry but he wasn’t less sassy . He barked back “Was just leaving”. He had a wicked smile and rubbed his palm on Harry’s cheek to jealous Louis more , “Was just saying bye to Harry”. Louis pushed his hand away from Harry’s face and shouted “Get the hell out of here !!!!! now !!!!!!! ” . Harry was just standing there like a fool all this time but now he reacted , pushing Louis away with force.

 

He said, “He is my guest Louis. You can’t treat him like that.” Louis’s anger boiled , red blood shot eyes “this is my house Harry.” trying to keep his tone low but it still came out as a shout . Harry bounced back “Mine too”.  Liam, Zayn and Niall were there standing with Azoff’s and they were quite used to Louis and Harry’s combat over Nick. All of them hated Nick dearly and Liam was thankful that no one was there except them and Paul because nobody wanted the scene in front to be next day’s headlines .

 

Louis gripped Harry’s  hand and said, “You better come with me before I beat your dearest friend to death and you know how well I can do that”.  Harry was pissed off . But still he gave in ; did not want to create a scene . He gave nick an apologetic glance and walked behind Louis without saying a word . Louis and Harry were walking the stairs when they heard Liam telling Nick to get lost from there . Now they were in Harry’s room and Louis locked it .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i hope you liked this chapter , do check my other larry one shot ( am i safe !!!!) . love you all


	9. And i made you strong !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys ............ please ignore the typos , i dont have my own beta :(  
> i hope you like this one and yes one more thing  
> * italics underlined - louis thinking  
> italics not underlined - harry thinking *  
> enjoy guyss..

 

Louis locked the door and he stood there with his back facing harry , he knew this was gonna end real bad , like actually bad . he sighed and then turned to harry , the way harry was standing with his arms crossed and a dead lock frown on his face , he could feel the tension in the atmosphere already . Harry was in no way gonna let go what just happened downstairs and maybe somewhere deep down louis was ready for it . Angry harry styles , fighting harry styles is always so much better then silent harry styles . louis took one step towards him and there the sky falls down .

With disgust in his voice harry said “what the bloody fuck was that louis ?”

_ Was that disgust ??? _

_ Really harry !! all this for that grimshaw ? _

 

Louis knew they had to talk it out and now actually seemed the right time , there was no way harry could get more upset than he already was , so he spoke up facing harry “ what did I do harry” ( acting sheepishly when he is wrong was one of louis’s “ the great tommo skills ” and harry was well aware of that but right now harry was pissed or maybe confused and hurt cse he gave louis what he asked for , **_you wanted space , I gave you all the space_ ** , and now louis pulls up this jealous act ???...... it hardly makes any sense and harry wanted to rip something apart ).

 

If looks could kill someone then right now louis would definitely had been a dead man , but behind all the anger and disgust on harry’s face louis could make out that he was hurt , harry was hurt , more like there was a wound that was left open and untreated and he was hurting so bad  , louis wanted to be the one comforting and treating it . In the middle of his thoughts harry had started speaking again “ louis I am serious , stop acting innocent you know what the hell I am talking about its better if you start with your shit talking straightway ” and louis instantly shot back  “don’t blame me for that , you could have told me if you loved him touching you so much” ( just the thought of this turned him angry again ).

 

Harry felt helpless because he in no way wanted to deal with louis’s possessiveness or louis in general , he had no clue that he actually had so much pent anger because he started yelling , he crossed the room standing in front of louis “ are you fucking out of your mind ?? do you even hear yourself right now ?? I am so done with you” louis looked down suddenly finding the floor more interesting , he didn’t know what his other options were because here was his harry shouting and yelling at his face with a finger pointed towards him yet  harry didn’t stop there “ you in no bloody universe get the right to treat me like your play toy , one moment you ask to be left alone and next point you get jealous over nick ????." 

 

The floor was still interesting.

 

 

And louis with his head down looking like he was the victim here added to harry’s anger “ louis come on look at me , face me , come on shout and give me orders just like you did moments ago.”

Still nothing.

 

Shrugging his shoulder harry said “ fine I think I should go because there is nothing you have to say I guess ."  He pushed past louis’s shoulder intentionally trying to hurt louis and walked towards the door , somehow harry forgot about louis’s small frame because the push actually jolted louis .

Not more than 5 seconds later when harry was heading do the door somehow louis got his voice back “ stop !!! don’t you dare take one more step ( harry did stop ) I need to talk to you so you better stay right here .”

Finally ….

 

Harry turned immediately but the disgust look was settled on his face “ okay lets talk ” ( pure harry sass , and louis in no way was gonna take it ) “ oh stop with your sass harry , don’t force me to get harsh on you again , I have already had enough of you so stop with this act of yours."

And harry was laughing.

_ What the hell is wrong with him ……….. what was the joke._

“ oh !! you had enough … wow (harry rubbed his face ) so louis Tomlinson has had enough , yah right !!!!!!! cse last time we checked , it was only you  who had enough !! right ????."

Nobody took a step forward but right now louis wanted to punch harry on the face , he was really being difficult right now.

_ fine then difficult it is  _

Shifting his weight from one foot to other louis made sure his voice actually conveys his frustration “ yes harry you heard me right , I have had enough of you and nick . Why do you smile so much when he is near you , what special things he’s got to say to you."

“ so we are again back to nick , how many times we are gonna have this conversation louis” harry was immediate to answer .

 

_ till you get away from nick  _

“ how many times do I need to answer this , I have got nothing new to add here” harry shrugged . louis closed the ten step distance between them and this time he looked in those green eyes just to make his point more clear “and how many times I have to tell you to stay away from him.”

Harry knew that look on his ex boyfriend , the look that clearly meant that harry belonged to louis ( possessiveness mixed with anger and frustration ) , the look that made harry go weak on his knees and before that happens harry shifted and moved away from him , walking and sitting on the bed. 

 

_What am I supposed to do with this louis …….. my louis ….the old louis._

He was tired.

Tired of being away from his louis.

He wanted to kiss away that look from his face just they way he always did .

 

He looked at louis and their eyes locked again , louis’s features softened , harry looked so helpless sitting there and in that moment when there was neither any movement nor a sound louis forgot he was angry . He moved and sat next to harry , their bodies touching .

_It feels nice._

_ This feels nice._

 

 

For a while nobody said anything , louis kept looking at the door in the front while harry kept rubbing circles around his rings.  

Harry humped his shoulders , rubbed his face twice and turning a bit towards louis he said “ what do you want louis , I don’t know anymore , I just can’t . You....... you said lets act as professionals , not even friends and that’s what I am doing so now why all this jealously” it didn’t even take louis a moment to answer cse he knew his answer “ I don’t know harry” ( simple ).

Harry looked at louis and without even facing harry louis knew what he said will piss harry more if nothing else but he had nothing to say.

_ I want you harry  _

_ I cant have harry  _

_ We cant be together  _

_ He is not mine  _

_ But STILL FEELS  MINE !!!!!!!!..._

 

This was the game his head was busy playing with him since they met again.

Harry hid his face in his hands , he knew instead of letting his guard  down it was better to control and calm himself .

louis turned and faced harry , seeing harry with his hands hiding his face , his shoulders down louis felt a sudden  rush of comforting his boy.

_ My boy ???? ……NO FUCK………… my boy?????...._

He held harry’s wrists in his hands and harry flinched , like he was  not expecting louis hold his hands . louis sighed and pulled harry’s hands down , he got up and sat on his knees in between harry’s legs on the floor facing him . Harry eyes followed louis till he settled on the floor on his knees. 

Louis pressed harry’s wrists not letting his hands go , it wasn’t like harry tried to release though “ tell me what’s wrong , why are you acting so weird since past 2 weeks , what’s the matter harry … tell me , everyone is worried about you. ”  Harry looked at louis as if he was unsure that louis was speaking to him this softly for the first time “ and you” he asked .

“ Me ?….. me what harry."

“ what about you …… you,  you worried to??.”

If harry didn’t let his guard down then maybe louis had , atleast what louis replied with proved that maybe he did for once.

“ yes me tooo …. Especially me !!!!.”

 

If a small , very small , weak smile walk past harry’s face then it didn’t go unnoticed by anyone .

 

“ you know every single frown on your face hurts me more than it does to you."  Hearing louis say this after years was enough of a spell on harry but he  straightened himself asking “ still ??? ” ( questioning big green eyes looking deep in the blues of louis searching for what he wanted to hear ).

_ What should I do now ? _

_ I  cant break him even more._

_ But we cant be together._

But before louis could control back he blurted out “ yes baby still."

harry looked so week like this and louis couldn't help it , comforting harry came second nature to louis . He just could'nt help it .

_ Shit !!!!! _

_ What ????  _

 

 Harry for a minute thought of believing him but jay’s words ran through his mind and he pushed louis away standing up and shouting “ you are a liar ..... All you ever did was lie …. Stop lying louis ...... just stop playing me."

Louis’s back banged with the floor , harry did push him hard and before he could stop harry he was already on the other side of the room facing  the window , not bothering to look back at louis.

Louis turned sideways to his left trying to get up and move to harry , but before that he saw a loose sheet under the bed . Just a page under harry’s bed . Moving himself he grabbed the paper and saw harry’s writing on it . He was sitting on the floor and he read the heading aloud **AND I MADE YOU STRONG .**

 

Harry turned like a whiplash and in a flip of second he rushed to louis , who immediately held the paper tightly behind his back.

_ What the hell._

_ Whats wriiten on it._

Harry ran so fast towards louis that not only he banged in louis but also pushed both of them down on the floor . Once again louis lying on the floor and harry on top of him ( great ) “ give it back to me louis , give me that back right now” that was some strong voiced statement which left louis shocked “ what the hell harry , get off me , why are you so scared what written on it ?.”

louis tried to push harry off him but harry was having none of it he was actually pinning louis down even more , pulling louis’s arm out from his back which was hiding the paper behind his back.

“aahhhhh stop it harry ………. Get off me …… you little shit.”

“ no louis I need it back , don’t you fucking dare read it.”

“ no buzz off harry you know now I am gonna read that even more."

“No you are are not.”

“Ohhh yes I am.”

_He is smirking_

_Smiling ….. fucker._

_He is smiling ……………. But he looks so cute._

_oh i love him so much_

____________

_Paper ….  Sheet …. Focus harry ……. Take that sheet before he reads it_

 

“ listen ( harry said sternly pointing a finger at louis ) its not funny louis give me that back …… it personal” and the little shit said “ if its personal then I am surely gonna read it ." He pushed harry “ fuck harry move your heavy."

“ I am not getting up till I get my paper back louis.”

 

“Ouchhhhhh harrrry…… why did you just pinch me.”

And harry got a plan , so  he started pinching louis “ come on louis , return it.”  

“stop it harry”

“Ahhhhh”

“HARRY STOP IT”

louis kicked harry on the shin with his shoes.

“ ohhhhhhh louis you bitch ”

 

While harry screamed with the pain louis got a chance to get up and move “ you asked for it harry , you pinched me first ………….. got the taste of your own medicine.”

_  I hope I didn’t hit him hard ……. _

 

Louis stood away from harry who was still on the floor holding his ankle , louis wiggled his hips and held the  paper in the air …. smiling over his victory . Realizing he still not had his thing back harry got up full speed forgetting the pain , but louis suddenly took two steps back and shouted “ dare you take one more step harry .. stay right there before I kick you again . I have to read it . Stay away or you are never getting it back.”

“ that's enough now” harry shouted rushing towards louis and this time he pinned louis to the wall behind them holding him tightly.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh not again harry , my back fuck harry” louis yelled.

_Ooh god is he hurt ???_

_He looks hurt though_

_No he is acting_

_This fucker always get his way with_   _me_

_Not this time_

 

“ no louis you can’t read it , you give me that and I will step away from you’ … but louis’s expression was actually showing he was hurt “ you hurting me harry."

_Not more than how much you have hurt me love._

But harry was least effected.

So louis looked at him and spoke , squirming a bit “move harry or else ill kiss you right now , and I am not even kidding ….. if you don’t move I am gonna smash my lips to yours.”

Atleast That worked.

Cse harry moved back.

He stepped back ,,,, clearly uncomfortable but he still tried “ please lou please don’t read its not for you , that my thing please louis."

 

And louis was again confused “ why are you begging ?? what’s in there , ill give it back to you after I read it , so now stay there and don’t speak or ill…….. I will do what I just said”

Harry froze.

Louis held the paper in his hands and looked at it.

 

 

But instantly he looked up looking at harry “ and don’t you dare pull that “lou” card again on me” ( now it was his turn to point a finger at harry)

________

And he read the title again “ **AND I MADE YOU STRONG ”**


	10. Remember when we had it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i am dividing this chapter in two parts . this is part one .

part 1 - remember when we had it all 

 

 

And I made you strong

 

///// they say he wasn’t happy

 You say you were

 They say his eyes don’t shine

 You say it’s just the dim lights

 They say he ain’t smiling

 You say I am thinking to much

 

 All this while

I thought we were fine

 Holding on loose string

 But we were still together

 Now i see you

 When you  see me

 And there stands the truth

 Lying in front my face

 I was blinded by your love

 Believed the world you showed

 When the real you was somewhere lost

 

 They say you need to let him go

 You say I can hold some more

 They say he is fading away

 You say I worry to much

 They say he is losing himself

 You say ill find a way home

 

 All this while

 I thought we were fine

 Holding on loose string

 But we were still together

 Now I see you

 When you see me

 And there stands the truth

 Lying in front my face

 I was blinded by your love

 Believed the world u showed

 When the real you was somewhere lost

 

  If I turn around today

 And face your face again

 Would you say those things again ?

 Those words where you told

 I was your home

 And it’s me who made you strong ???

 

 I don’t know what's true

 And where lies the lie

 because they say I hold you down

 They say I should not be around

 They say I am the reason you don’t smile

 And that without me , you are fine

 When all this while I thought

 I was the one who made you strong

 

 There's nothing I knew that was going on

 It wasn’t you there anymore

 Were they right and was I wrong ???

 But you said

 I made you strong

                 And I made you strong ???? //////

 

 

 

 

 

His hands were trembling , the tears willing to make way out burning his eyes red . He was still looking at it , looking at nothing , no word in particular that he had just read but still looking .

Searching for something else that he could find out that harry didn’t say and that louis didn’t see all these years . He gripped tight the sides of the paper or the readable form of harry’s brittle heart so that if there is some chance even a tiniest of it that his hold could stop it from shattering or could stop the noise of a breaking soul that waved through that paper – he wants that chance , he needs !!

 He glanced up , tears glistening his eyes fogging his sight but he was still holding them back . He blinked twice to get his vision clear  and saw harry crouched on the floor , back against the bed and looking at louis with something unreadable on his face.

 When harry shifted from standing steps away from him to curled up in himself on the floor louis had no idea . But what he knew , or could feel was  every single line , everyone word written by harry aiming daggers at every inside of his body , dithering his demise . They both looked at one another , louis couldn’t decipher the expression on harry’s face and the weight of loose sheet in his hands was pulling him down .

 He wanted to lie down , hibernate if possible , most definitely sleep for days and come out of his slumber only when he had harry by his side , not this fragmented harry self but the old harry self . Harry’s gaze mirrored all those things that he had written . Harry shifted a bit towards left , like an invitation to louis to come sit next to him .

 

Louis wanted to , he wanted to sit next to him , talk about what’s going on in his pretty head ???

 Ask him what he meant by questioning the song louis wrote for him???

 Ask him who exactly were ‘they’ ????

 Find the reasons behind harry thinking all those things that made no sense to louis right now but they certainly meant something on the grounds of louis not being happy around harry and if that is the case then this night is one of the longest nights because louis won’t let harry go without talking him out of his these false illusions . Not being happy around harry is the biggest lie that harry could foster in his head .

 

Louis could put the biggest wager of his life to find one person who was or who couldn’t be happy around harry. Harry personified beam and merry .

 

Harry was still looking at louis intently , while louis took the longest steps he could manage and with every step how much strength he had to cluster together just to reach to harry couldn’t be comprehended .

Harry eyes followed louis till he sat next to harry crossing his legs . Louis left some space between him and harry , which didn’t go unnoticed by harry . Now both of them were looking ahead .

 

Both felt hungover ,

Except nobody touched  liquor .

Both were  high ,

Except neither did smoke .

Both were clouded by way to many emotions ,

Without the idea to which one to feel first .

 

A while went by and nobody was  crying,

Nobody was having difficulty breathing,

Nobody moved,

Nobody said anything ,

There was nothing wrong , just nobody was doing anything . they both were just looking ahead .

 

Then louis started rubbing his thigh , to calm down his nerves with a line of sweat lingering on his forehead  and paper still clenched in his other hand , he whispered  “I can’t do this” , to which harry turned around to his side and looked at him to witness the most vulnerable louis self .

 

Slowly without making a sound dreading that even minuscule of something would break this moment right there , and would make louis run away again , harry moved and shifted a bit closer to louis ,eliminating the distance that louis left between them letting his side touch louis’s . The moment they touched louis  turned  looking back at harry .

 “ do it now”

 And that was all needed ,  for louis to shut down the entire outside world and get lost in those green orbs looking back at him with so much hope and aspiration . The room had some new air rolling in because it took them years to come back to this point where a mere touch or a look could say CALM DOWN , YOU HAVE ME .

 In the middle of nerves calming down and some long breathes came a small and raspy “ louis do it” pulling the person being called , out of his daze .

He looked at the paper ,

Looked back at harry .

 

“ what is this supposed to mean ?”

 

“ harry” he tried again .But all harry did was look back at the front , staring back at the door . It  seemed easier asking louis to do it then playing his own part out . Louis sighed but he knew he was gonna try again , with harry’s touch still calming him , assuring him that harry was there and was not leaving him atleast for now .

 louis knew he was gonna try hard , because he did actually mean every line of strong !!!.

 Even though what harry wrote states otherwise .

 “ you know we need to talk harry”

 “Harry tell me what’s this”

 And there was again a long pause , louis waited , for seconds turning into minutes  but harry didn’t budge so he decided to get up and leave harry alone for a while.

 He placed the paper down in front of harry foot , he turned to look at harry who was now looking down at his hands , and considering this as his final cue to leave louis got up .

 He took one step and the other one started panicking .

 

“ wait” certainly panicked .

“Please don’t go” harry croaked.

“I am not going anywhere just giving you sometime” louis said , turning back to face harry still on the floor .

 “ that night when you said all those things , I called jay because I thought maybe there was a chan-nce  that the words you said wer-re n-not true” harry looked up meeting louis’s eyes “ but they were lou”.

 If louis was feeling a bit out of the scene before now he had no idea what was going on .

 “ what are you talking about harry” he proposed clearly confused .

 

Harry stood up and attached himself with the bed , he needed to support his legs because everything had already consumed every ounce of strength he had and now he needed to stand uptight to go through the emotional trip they were about to ride on .

“ you said you cannot handle this anymore , you are not at all strong enough to go through everything and she said you showed me that you were happy and that you had control but in real you were not” harry felt a bit proud for finishing a full-fledged line without stuttering , so continued because he had a lot to say and before his emotions got the best of him again , he needed to say it all and he knew louis will listen . This is what happened through the years when one said the other listened .

“ you cried in front of your mom and every other person who wasn’t me , you always showed me your happy face , when your insides were just as broken as me , you said you can handle everything , when in real you needed someone to hold you , to-to---to tell you that you can rest for a while without worrying about everything , you needed someone lou”.

“and you never let that someone be me” harry wasn’t sure that louis heard his last words but he did because as soon as those left harry’s mouth louis rushed and attached himself to harry .

“no , no don’t say that harry , its you , it was you” he attached himself to harry as close as he could , trying to hide himself in harry’s shoulder . He held harry close grabbing his collars , pulling them down desperately just to feel the warmth , to feel close to him again , but harry never hugged back letting louis nuzzle on his shoulders as much as he wanted .

 

Harry needed answers , and he needed them now .

“you lied , you pretended , I was always true to you but you weren’t” harry continued without giving any mind to louis shaking his head repeating a series of no’s.

“ I was your biggest ……weakness” , his voice breaking in the end , saying this out aloud wasn’t easy for harry and hearing this coming out of harry’s was as difficult for louis.

“No harry …. Stop it”

“I couldn’t keep you happy”, harry continued .

“stop it harry .”

“I ruined you even more than the people around did .”

“that’s not true harry.”

 

But harry wasn’t stopping , he kept murmuring on and on . He was not only lifting the burden of his shoulders by saying all he wanted but was also reminding himself every single word that took away all of his hope , his dreams and his love for the man who was holding onto him for his dear life .

What jolted louis were the last words coming out of harry , “louis ………. I didn’t make you strong” harry whispered.

Not believing what he just heard , he lifted his head to look up in those eyes . But the way harry looked back at him ,somehow  louis figured that harry meant it . If not meant he had definitely started believing it and that was certainly something louis won’t let happen .

“ harry , babe listen to me” trying to gain his attention back.

And harry did look down “ listen to me , this is not what had happened or was happening” louis hasted .

“ please listen to me” he started rubbing harry’s chest , but harry pushed him away , distancing himself from louis he said, “ okay ”. 

Ignoring being pushed by harry , louis started explaining himself dreading that harry might walk away .

 “ please believe everything I am gonna say right now ” louis rushed out , he was beginning  getting hysterical .

 “So you can again twist them and hand me handful of lies again” harry barked back , crossing his arms .

“ no harry … I wont lie …. I never lied I just didn’t tell you some stuff ” trying to make harry hear him out atleast.  

Although he knew at these times nobody was as stubborn as harry .

“ I don’t think so there was just some stuff louis”, air quoting the last phrase harry answered back .

“I know it wasn’t just some stuff , but what you are thinking is far away from truth” louis said holding his hands out to harry .

“Because you never bothered including me in it”, harry roared .

Louis huffed because now harry was making it even more difficult for him .

“Will you listen to me for a minute”, louis tried.

“I am still here louis , am I not ??”

“ will you stop it ! , stop it for a minute harry , if you don’t want to give me a chance to explain myself then tell me right now . I will move out right now” louis screamed losing his mind.

 Vocalizing everything that  he went through after all these years seemed more strenuous then living them and if harry was in no position to allow louis explain himself  , then louis would rather prefer not saying anything , because it would be like living it again and louis was much better without it .

“ just don’t lie” harry stated unaffected by louis’s frustrated form .

“ I won’t just hear me out” louis replied instantly to which harry nodded , standing there with his arms crossed and louis looked at harry for a minute more before “ I never lied to you , I just hid the fact that everything that was happening was taking its toll on me too . You were not handling things well , you were broken and you needed me , I knew I had to be there for you because you were losing yourself , which I couldn’t ever let happen harry , so I decided to be strong for you.”

When harry didn’t react louis continued “all you were doing was drinking and drowning every dawn of your life in alcohol and rage parties . It was only when I was there with you to hold you down , to make you realize and show you that I loved you and I would fight for you always , that you stopped but as soon as I went back to finish my job , go stunting you were back to being miserable. ” If nothing affected harry earlier this certainly did , he was no longer standing there guarding himself and his expression turned soft with every word that louis said .

“it was either pushing you to the end of the dark tunnel by showing how everything was shutting me out or pull you back by being strong for both of us”

“ so I choose us harry , I choose you."

Louis took two steps towards harry ,  he knew harry believed him this time . He waited for harry to say something , anything but what came out was a “sorry” followed by a whimper , and true to his second nature louis was there in a heartbeat to comfort harry .

 


End file.
